work, work, work

this week i hope to be a productive one. i need to deep clean my apartment BADLY. i'm relatively close to moving out of my apartment, and need to start cleaning the place up. i really hope my credit isn't so shot to hell that it holds up the works at this new place. i should be making about a grand a month, which should take care of rent. i need to apply for some grants and scholarships next year, hardcore. translation: i need to literally stick a knife to my dad's neck and let him know that he NEEDS to provide me with the financial info i need to become self-sufficient. the patience i have for his behavior and attitudes is waning quickly, especially in the face of other relatively common problems. i just wished i understood what he thought. unfortunately, when i attempt to do so i am highly unimpressed with his level of immaturity and lack of responsibility. every time i bring up a responsibility he's failed at he first attempts to pretend he's about to take care of it. when i make him aware that he doesn't have the ability to take care of him, or ask him exactly what is planned that would assure it being completed, he gets defensive and just says it's none of my business. i remind him that, like most things he's supposed to be paying for, that it reflects on me, and that i have a life and responsibilities, and he promised this would not happen or be an issue. he then proceeds to act like he's the victim, telling me how miserable and/or poor he is and how maybe he deserves nice things or accommodations like mine (the ones he talks about are the ones that i have worked and paid for myself). i then mention that he has the abilities to do just that, and he bitches and bitches. ohhh! fancy that! he just called as i was typing this tirade. i ask, 'how are things?'. 'pretty crummy' i say, 'ok'. he says in this sad, pathetic voice 'i'm sorry, i can't push these things to happen'...he asks what's going on with the car and i say it should be getting fixed this week, that i'm taking care of it. then i said that i'm also taking care of rent, since that's obviously not taken care of. maybe it was at this point that he said he was sorry. i don't really remember. i said i didn't care, and he seemed to take this as an out, so i reminded him that i did care, that i just was too tired to be upset anymore at him about it. i said he should call his parents, that they had called me looking for him. he said okay. i said i didn't know what else to tell him and then he hung up on me. i'm sure he cried or allowed himself to feel really bad afterwards because poor him, he's so poor and a failure at life, but frankly that's not my responsibility. what a wonderful way to start my day. i hope he calls back and we can experience more bonding.